Can the Caring Parent Be Ordered to Pay Child Support to the Other Parent?

You Don't Pay Child Support, But the Other Parent Is Demanding It from You

Child support usually flows in one direction: the parent the child does not live with pays a contribution to the parent the child does live with. But what if it works the other way around? What if the non-caring parent claims that the caring parent should pay him?

That sounds illogical, but it is legally possible. The Gelderland District Court addressed exactly such a request on 3 June 2025. The ruling sets clear limits: when is it possible, and when is it not?

What Happened?

After a divorce, the child lived with the mother. She was the caring parent. The father, the non-caring parent, asked the court to order the mother to pay him €100 per month in child support. His reasoning: the mother earned significantly more than he did.

The mother filed a defence. Her position: there are no special circumstances that justify such a reversed payment. Alternatively, she acknowledged that if the court were to set a contribution, it could be at most €17 per month, and the father was willing to accept that.

The court dismissed the request. Entirely.

The Legal Rule: Four Criteria

Child support follows a fixed logic: the parent with whom the child has their primary residence bears the above-residence costs and the daily care costs. The other parent pays the costs associated with the child staying with them, and possibly a contribution to the caring parent.

Deviation from this main rule, a so-called reversed maintenance obligation, is only possible in special circumstances. Case law has established four relevant factors:

1. An extensive contact arrangement with the non-caring parent, think of a co-parenting type situation
2. High earning capacity of the caring parent, she earns substantially more
3. Low earning capacity of the non-caring parent, he can barely contribute anything
4. The extent to which both parents together can cover the child's total needs, are the child's costs actually being met?

Importantly: it is up to the parent requesting the reversed contribution to state these special circumstances and, if the other party disputes them, to substantiate them.

Why the Court Dismissed the Request

The mother disputed that any special circumstances were present. The father did not respond with concrete substantiation. He did not explain which circumstances would specifically justify a reversed payment.

That was his fatal error. Legally, he needed to clear the bar: demonstrating why the situation is so exceptional that the main rule should not apply. That substantiation was absent.

Moreover: although the mother did indeed have a significantly higher earning capacity, that in itself is insufficient. A higher income on the part of the caring parent does not automatically make her liable to pay support to the other parent. More is required.

What Can You Learn from This?

As the caring parent:

• If the other parent claims you should pay, it is not that straightforward. Actively contest the request and point out that no special circumstances have been established.
• A higher income alone is not grounds for reversed child support. Make sure that is clearly stated.
• Know that the burden of proof lies with the requesting party, not with you.

As a non-caring parent considering making such a request:

• Be aware that the threshold is high. You must concretely substantiate why the situation is exceptional enough.
• Critically assess the four criteria: is there really an extensive contact arrangement? Is your earning capacity truly low? Are the child's needs not being met?
• Without adequate substantiation, the court will dismiss the request, as it did here.

The Core of Child Support

Child support is about the child, not about equalising the financial relationship between parents. Whoever bears the daily care also bears the costs. The financially stronger parent does not automatically become the paying party, certainly not when the child lives with her.

This ruling confirms that courts are cautious about reversed child support. And rightly so: the exception must not become the rule.

What Should You Do Now?

Are you facing a request for reversed child support, or are you considering filing such a request yourself? Make sure you get proper advice on the chances of success and the legal requirements. A request without adequate substantiation is bound to fail.

Case Reference

This post is based on ECLI:NL:RBGEL:2025:4187.